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Welcome to theCheckoutLine.org

We’re the first DAILY online advice column for both the terminally ill, and their friends and relatives. Every weekday your questions about dying — how it affects you, how to deal with it — will be answered.
You do NOT have to give your real name. You will have complete confidentiality. To ask any question about [...]

Welcome to theCheckoutLine.org
  • Advice

    Posted on June 16th, 2010

    Written by Judy

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    Can’t Stand My Dying Mother

    Dear Judy,
    How do I balance helping my 83-year-old mother with breast cancer (I do not want to feel guilt after she dies)  with the fact that in many ways I don’t like being with her? I don’t want her to live with me, but lately she’s been dropping hints about “mother-in-law apartments.”
    I want to “be [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on June 15th, 2010

    Written by Judy

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    Outraged Daughter, Father with Mistress

    Dear Judy,
    My father, who has lung cancer, is getting regular phone calls from his mistress. My father lives with his wife, my mother. I always knew in a way that something was going on in my father’s life, but never wanted to know (or ask) details.
    Now it’s in our face. The woman calls at least [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on June 14th, 2010

    Written by Judy

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    Angry Mother, Suicidal Daughter

    Dear Judy,
    A few weeks ago my friend’s mother died of breast cancer. The mother was skeptical of Western medicine and refused chemo or radiation. My friend moved my mother into her one-bedroom apartment (my friend slept on the couch), and provided all her end-of-life care.
    In the mother’s final days, my friend took her to the [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on June 3rd, 2010

    Written by Judy

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    Boyfriend’s Father with Cancer

    Dear Judy,
    My boyfriend’s father has been diagnosed with cancer, and it’s bad.
    I live miles away from him, and most of our conversations are via Skype on the Internet. However, my point is I really like him and want to be there for him.
    Unfortunately, I have no idea of how to help him with what he’s [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on June 2nd, 2010

    Written by Judy

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    Take Her to the Church?

    Dear Judy,
    My mother keeps tell us she’s going to leave everything “to the church.” We don’t belong to a church. My mother never spent an hour in church in her life. My sister and I were never taken there as children.
    Mom’s in her seventies now, and I guess she’s scared — of something. Maybe God. [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on May 24th, 2010

    Written by Judy

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    Malignant Personality Disorder!

    Dear Judy,
    My mother has pancreatic cancer. She also has Malignant Personality Disorder! She clearly favored my brother, her “Golden Child,” who could do no wrong.  Although frankly he has a drinking problem.
    Both my parents physically and emotionally abused me when I was a child, sabotaging my education and leaving me with a lot of lingering [...]

  • Advice
    Can’t Stand My Dying Mother

    Dear Judy, How do I balance helping my 83-year-old mother with ...

  • Blog
    Final Decision: Hint from An Expert

    I can't resist. My friend Josh Slocum, the brilliant head ...

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  • Recent Posts
    • Can’t Stand My Dying Mother
    • Outraged Daughter, Father with Mistress
    • Angry Mother, Suicidal Daughter
    • Boyfriend’s Father with Cancer
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