Comments on: AIDS: Do I Have to Be Part of a Cover-Up?

By: Marian S

Marian S — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:22:53 +0000

“What good comes out of telling the truth?” Well as SanFranciscoSam said, spreading the word helps future victims. Trying to “cover up” his death just makes it that much harder for others. And it’s only “smearing the name” if you’re homophobic.

Absolutely let his mother (and the rest of the family) grieve without stirring up trouble. I think that by asking this question in the first place just shows that you’re a decent human being! Recognizing that your cousins life - and death - should be respected, but also recognizing that it’s his family that’s here now dealing with the loss.

But in regards to Jeanne’s response, comparing Ricky’s cousin’s death to gossip and smearing… well, that just seems like the kind of attitude Ricky is trying to avoid, no?

By: Jeanne Frye, RN, CHPN

Jeanne Frye, RN, CHPN — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:01:12 +0000

My own sense of what to say or not say in these situations is guided by a simple question to myself. “What good comes of my telling the truth?” Secondly, although the cousin is passed on, he still has a right to not have his disease discussed for the purpose of good gossip.

If the purpose is to educate that can be done without smearing the name of your relative.

Something along the line of, ” At times, this type of pneumonia can be seen in persons with a deficient immune system.” Let them draw their own conclusions (could be TB, Aids, cancer, a transplant)……Guide yourself by allowing his mom to grieve the son lost, for now that is enough. Blessings

By: Kennedy

Kennedy — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 06:04:04 +0000

Ricky should ask: what would his late cousin have wanted?

By: SanFranciscoSam

SanFranciscoSam — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 06:02:12 +0000

The answer is real simple. If enough people tell the truth, it improves the chances of the next HIV/AIDS victim to get proper treatment and decent familial support. If you go along with the coverup, you enable the next HIV/Aids death.

By: Joan

Joan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 05:57:41 +0000

Rumors travel fast, especially the bad kind. Your reader should know that everyone knows the truth. He can humor the aunt, mother and step- uncle, or decide to confront their hypocrisy.

By: Vera

Vera — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 05:54:12 +0000

The grieving mother has not come to terms with her son being gay, let her grieve without adding salt to her injurues. When and if she is ready, she will face reality, but until then, let her be.