Comments on: Alzheimer’s: Grateful for All the Help http://www.thecheckoutline.org/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/ Advice for Dying and Death - When Sympathy Isnt Enough Fri, 18 May 2012 09:57:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Isaac http://www.thecheckoutline.org/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/comment-page-1/#comment-230 Isaac Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:47:05 +0000 http://www.thecheckoutline.org/wordpress/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/#comment-230 Couldn't agree more. with Naomi and Eileen "As if" the person dealing with the problem doesn't have enough on their plate, then they have to deal with unsolicited advice, which is usually worth what they pay for. Often these people are doing it more for their own benefit than the recipient. Isaac Couldn’t agree more. with Naomi and Eileen “As if” the person dealing with the problem doesn’t have enough on their plate, then they have to deal with unsolicited advice, which is usually worth what they pay for. Often these people are doing it more for their own benefit than the recipient.

Isaac

]]> By: eileen http://www.thecheckoutline.org/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/comment-page-1/#comment-229 eileen Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:38:09 +0000 http://www.thecheckoutline.org/wordpress/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/#comment-229 Oh please!! I think Judy is absolutely right. Advice is cheap, help is harder. if people are coping with a medical problem (or any other, for that matter) it's safe to assume that they have done their homework and made their choices. Kibbitzing on the sidelines is not what they need. Ask what YOU can do, and then do it. Quit aggravating people under a ton of pressure by telling them how they should be doing things better. They probably already feel small and helpless and inadequate to deal with the pain and the burdens they're carrying. Don't make them feel worse by telling them, in effect, that they've made bad choices. That you are so much smarter. Oh please!! I think Judy is absolutely right. Advice is cheap, help is harder. if people are coping with a medical problem (or any other, for that matter) it’s safe to assume that they have done their homework and made their choices. Kibbitzing on the sidelines is not what they need. Ask what YOU can do, and then do it. Quit aggravating people under a ton of pressure by telling them how they should be doing things better. They probably already feel small and helpless and inadequate to deal with the pain and the burdens they’re carrying. Don’t make them feel worse by telling them, in effect, that they’ve made bad choices. That you are so much smarter.

]]> By: alicia goss http://www.thecheckoutline.org/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/comment-page-1/#comment-228 alicia goss Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:32:56 +0000 http://www.thecheckoutline.org/wordpress/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/#comment-228 i wish you'd stop putting down anything which does not enrich the greedy grabby drug companies. Even some conventional doctors now accept the notion that certain alternative treatments may be helpful. So labeling everything that doesn't necessarily come with a prescription a 'witches' brew' is condescending. It alsoo displays your ignorance. Read a little about Chinese and Indian medicine before babbling -- or at least before sneering over how more than half of humanity practices the healing arts. i wish you’d stop putting down anything which does not enrich the greedy grabby drug companies. Even some conventional doctors now accept the notion that certain alternative treatments may be helpful. So labeling everything that doesn’t necessarily come with a prescription a ‘witches’ brew’ is condescending. It alsoo displays your ignorance. Read a little about Chinese and Indian medicine before babbling — or at least before sneering over how more than half of humanity practices the healing arts.

]]> By: naomi http://www.thecheckoutline.org/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/comment-page-1/#comment-227 naomi Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:22:32 +0000 http://www.thecheckoutline.org/wordpress/advice/alzheimers-grateful-for-all-the-help/#comment-227 There are no magic formulas. It's always that way. Help too much and you're a meddler, help too little and you are callous. People are in distress, that's the problem. It's impossible to know the exact balance between being thoughtful and useful and overdoing your usefulness in a way grieving friends find offensive or intrustive. My rule of thumb is to try and put myself in the shoes of the other person, or as some would say, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That's all you can do. There are no magic formulas. It’s always that way. Help too much and you’re a meddler, help too little and you are callous. People are in distress, that’s the problem. It’s impossible to know the exact balance between being thoughtful and useful and overdoing your usefulness in a way grieving friends find offensive or intrustive. My rule of thumb is to try and put myself in the shoes of the other person, or as some would say, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That’s all you can do.

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