Dear Judy,
My good friend Beth is dying of lung cancer. She is under hospice care, and she still occasionally smokes.
My question. I’m a smoker (half a pack a day, nothing serious…), and every time I visit, I’m longing to light up.
I know, I know. Big bad me. But seeing her the way she is now, wasted and so sad makes me nervous as hell, and what I do when I’m really going crazy inside is light up myself.
After all she’s doing it. Is there anything wrong with my joining in?
Fred
Dear Fred,
It all depends on where your friend Beth is receiving hospice care. If she’s at home, which is where most patients receive hospice care, you might be able to indulge.
HOWEVER (you can see how big the however is here…), you may not light up if she’s getting oxygen.
Which she probably is.
Another issue: who is Beth living with now? A husband? A good friend? A caretaker who hates the smell of smoke? Is she, by any chance, in a hospice in-patient unit? In that case, only she may be able to smoke.
In other words, check things out. Ask first. And by the way, even if Beth is smoking — ask her.
Oh and by the way– half a pack a day can be very serious.
Thank you for writing
Judy
