Dear Judy
My father, who has lung cancer, has told me that he’s left pretty much everything to me in his will. I’m an old child, now 30. But he’s also asked me to give some of the cash I inherit to my first cousin, his sister’s son, who never has held down a real job, and has been in and out of jail since the age of 19.
I want nothing to do with the guy. He was a massive bully in high school and we’ve always hated each other. Also, I gather from a lawyer friend there are tax implications if I give him a lot of money.
When my father passes, what do I do?
Rick
Dear Rick,
When your father dies, send your cousin a check. I gather your father never specified the amount, so it needn’t be a large sum. Just send it, and be done with it — and your cousin.
Thanks for writing
Judy
Unless the father is incapable of commnicating details, I think Rick should ask him directly how much money he wants to go to the deadbeat cousin. Why should Rick be the one to decide how much is too much, or too little? That’s his father’s prerogative. At least this way Rick will know what to do and how much to give.
I wonder if the father means for Rick to give the money to his cousin incrementally, maybe depending on whether or not the cousin gets his act together?
I’m brand new to this site, so I didn’t realize you got these kinds of questions. OK. This is how I read the situation. Rick is the kind of person who has no sympathy for a first cousin who apprently has not had an easy life. Meaning: in Rick’s opinion he’s selfish and self centered. BUT Rick’s father has entrusted him with giving money to the cousin, and I think maybe this is his way of using his own death to teach his son something he knows, but which never entirely sank in. How to give, how to care.
Wow Gracie - I’m impressed. Your answer was far better than mine, and more thoughtful.
Welcome to thecheckoutline.org, and keep on sending your wise comments!