Dear Judy,
My 72-year-old aunt has just been diagnosed (re-diagnosed, I guess you could say, because it’s the second occurrence) with breast cancer, and she just informed me she wants me to be the executor of her will. I’m a lawyer so I’m not too surprised by her request.
However, at the same time, my aunt added that I would inherit — nothing. She’s leaving most of her estate, which is considerable, to some kind of science scholarship, or a bunch of scholarships — I don’t know which, because I was so stunned when she delivered the news that it totally wiped out my memory – at a local university.
Frankly, I don’t mean to be crass, but what blood relative wants to be a) asked a big favor by another blood relative, one that takes a certain amount of time out of my busy schedule and then b) be disinherited? Do you think I’m being tacky? Cold-hearted?
Or am I justified in thinking I should turn my aunt down?
Linda in San Francisco
Dear Linda,
It’s interesting that despite the great shock you cite in your email, your memory, however much it may have failed you in one instance, is perfectly sound so many others.
You recall that you won’t inherit a penny, that your aunt is imposing on you by requesting a large favor, and that you are too busy to accommodate her. All that being the case, I think you should decline your aunt’s request to be the executor of her will.
Don’t give vent to your grievances. Tell her that a pile of work prevents you from giving the attention and care her will requires. And suggest as a substitute someone who might feel less resentful.
Thanks for writing
Judy
