Dear Judy,
I see from your web site that you’re a big fan of cheap funerals and cheap burials. Maybe you’ll understand my dilemma. My whole family hates me and thinks I’m cold and hard just because I want my sister, when she passes, to be cremated.
My sister hates the idea of cremation. She has Stage IV ovarian cancer, so she won’t be around a lot longer, but she’s made her wishes about everything after death known to us.
My other sister and my father say we should abide by her last wishes. So does my uncle. I think they’re nuts. Isn’t cremation the cheapest way of burying someone after they’re gone? And is my sister really going to kick up a fuss about the whole thing when she’s dead?
Everyone says I’m heartless. I don’t think so. I think I’m practical.
Rollie
Dear Rollie,
Yes, I’m a big fan of inexpensive funerals and burials — and yes cremation is the cheapest way to go about the business of burials: $400 for cremation alone, if you shop around.
But no, I’m not in favor of civil war. In other words, if your dying sister is making a last request — no cremation — then oblige her and your family. You don’t have to spend a fortune. Just call up a few funeral homes and ask for prices of their most inexpensive caskets.
This will almost always be a plain pine box (around $800 at most places). It is the burial container of choice for Orthodox Jews, so it’s used a lot, and everyone will be familiar with it.
Please remember that by law — Federal Trade Commission law — funeral establishments MUST give you, on request, prices for all their caskets, and the various costs of everything else you might want.
And shop around. These are days when the consumer — that’s you — is king. You can bargain, you can check out your options, you can even purchase caskets online. And try the web site of the venerable Funeral Consumers Alliance — www.funerals.org — they will provide you with a lot of information. Free.
Thank you for writing
Judy
Or to be even more precise: heartless AND brainless (AND a jerk).
I totally agree that cremation is the most sensible way of departing after departing. But if you’ve got a terminally ill patient with reservations about the idea, now is not a good time to start preaching the virtues of cremation. I say, let it be.
These are truly hard times, with so many of us out of work, bank accounts depleted, mortgages unpaid. If the sister is able to finance her burial, she should do it now. If not, not burden the family later