Dear Judy,
I’m 17. My brother is 14. My Mom said I should write you, because she’s making us mad and she said you would be impartial.
Last year our Dad died of complications of diabetes. He was great in some ways, and we miss him. But because he was obese and never exercised, and he ate A LOT of doughnuts and stuff, his health got worse and worse. Mom used to lecture him about everything. It didn’t do any good. In fact, it probably made things worse. Which I have told her.
For over a year our Mom has been after us in the same way. Except my brother and I aren’t fat. We’re pretty skinny because I’m Varsity (football and basketball), and my brother is big on tennis and anyway he’s built skinny.
Still, all the time Mom is after us: No fries, no Big Macs, no pop except diet which I hate, no ice cream, only fruit. Veggies, veggies, veggies. It’s getting crazy around here. And now that it’s almost Christmas it’s even worse than crazy.
Can you “talk” to her? We feel like moving out, but we can’t.
Jason
Dear Jason,
Let me talk to you first: your mother has been through very bad times. I realize: so have you and so has your brother. But I’m pretty sure your mother had to bear a lot of the pain, watching helplessly as a husband died slowly – and of a disease that, had he taken the right measures, might have been managed.
So bear with her a little. She’s freaked out. She wants her kids healthy. You can understand that, I’m sure. If she says, “No Big Macs in the house,” then don’t eat them in the house. Of course it would be best if you never ate them, I’m with your mom on that one. But I’m realistic.
In other words, if you must sneak a sugary soda, then at least have the decency to sneak it outside the house.
Now a word to your mom, since she’s the one who suggested you write me: Teens are much more likely to scarf up whatever is completely denied them: alcohol and food most notably. (I’m not going to go into drugs here, because that’s the one thing I think we have to deny them).
I’m not saying you should provide dinners composed exclusively of french fries, hot dogs and ice cream. I know you don’t want your children to end up like their father. But I think a little leeway here could work wonders. Anyway, think about it.
And thank you for writing, Jason
Judy
Hey Jason, you’re right. However, your mother is also right. Which is why Judy is right.