Dear Judy,
I travel a lot on business for a hedge fund company (yes, I know. No jokes please). Almost 3 months ago, one of our partners collapsed and died practically right away. Massive coronary.
We were in Hong Kong. There was lots of red tape. I got the body embalmed, paid for that, the coffin (the coffin was really expensive: over 6 grand) and the trip home in the coffin. My employers obviously paid for the trip home for the partner.
The embalming and the coffin are obviously supposed to be paid by his widow.
Guess what? Not a dime yet from the widow or anyone in the partner’s family has come my way, even though when I returned, I phoned the widow and told her how much I paid for everything. I don’t want to seem insensitive, because that could go back to my employers. But considering I forked out over $8,000 for everything, I need help.
Howard
Dear Howard,
Insensitive? I don’t think so. Insensitive would have been to leave the partner’s body in Hong Kong. Or to phone his widow demanding $8,000 in cash up front.
Time to send her a detailed formal bill, carefully itemized, with receipts. It need not be rude or cold. Attach a note expressing once again your sympathy for the tragedy she endured. Explain how you were happy to help out in such a tragic time. And then on the bill itself, write a due date for the amount to be reimbursed.
Thank you for writing
Judy
Wrong! This should not be between Howard and the widow. Its not like they were drinking buddies on a social trip! The office should reimburse him immediately, and then if it so chooses, the office can claim from the widow. The company probably has lots of accounts to settle with the family, and deducting these expenses will be simply another item.
Something doesn’t make sense. LIke, did Howard make his own decisions about which coffin to buy? Why didn’t he put it on the friend’s credit card? Or get someone who was with the widow to pay for it? Why didn’t she pay electronically? Its not as though one has to schlepp gold nuggets these days! So little common sense, no wonder the hedge funds look the way they do!
Howard, you called the overwhelmed widow after you returned, meaning probably before the funeral, and you expect her to remember what you said? Judy is right, send her an itemized bill. But its not necessary to give a due date. If she is a halfway decent person, she will so bad for forgetting, she will pay immediately.
I think if someone dies, he dies. All debts should be forgiven and forgotten!
I agree with Berry. How is the widow supposed to recall every last detail of what was said? She was traumatized. Remind her. Gently but firmly.
Interesting, not all co workers would be so generous!! Ok, I am going to hate myself in the morning……call a lawyer (no offense to any legal beagles out there
) I can not see that the employer would be liable as a “massive coronary” is generally not work related?