Dear Judy,
My husband has diabetes and has also suffered a series of small strokes. We don’t have a lot of hope. Our problem is his neurologist — a real pill, and I’m not trying to be funny.
The doctor acts like he couldn’t care less about my husband. Every time we see him, he talks “through” him, by which I mean as though my husband wasn’t even in the office. He is also surly.
True my husband has sufferend cognitive impairment. He is in a wheelchair too, and maybe his hearing has also been affected. But I get infuriated on his behalf.
We keep hearing this neurologist is one of the best around, however. He’s also on our insurance plan, which means a considerable savings for us. So I hesitate to alienate him.
Do you have a solution?
Karen
Dear Karen
A surly, insulting doctor who talks “through” a patient? I always tell people who write in with your kind of complaint (and there are many!) to subsitute the word “plumber” for doctor.
If your plumber were insulting and rude every time you called on him, would you even consider giving him more work? The next time you got a bathtub clog, would you insist on this plumber and no other?
Maybe 85 percent of the work of a neurologist consists of communicating with a patient and analyzing his responses. If this doctor can’t communicate, he’s flunked. Consult your insurance compan. Find another neurologist for your husband, asap.
Thank you for writing
Judy
I’m sorry, Judy, you are plain wrong. Maybe this neurologist isn’t as nice or as polite as he should be, but focussing on the healthy individual rather than on someone who understands almost nothing is a normal human reaction. If everything else about the doc is okay, like he’s good at what he does, they should stick with him. They sure shouldn’t start experimenting with new doctors.
There’s no point in projecting your own hopeless feelings about your husband’s condition on a doctor, especially if everyone thinks he is one of the best around. I’m going to ask Karen: is everyone else an idiot? Or is there something else, deeper and more depressing, bothering you?
Karen should try telling the doctor how she feels and how she thinks her husband feels before rushing off to make changes. He may not be aware of how he’s perceived. A small discussion could eleicit the desired change.
If that plumber was reliable and punctual and not exorbitant then yes, I would certainly continue to use him — despite the way he acts.
Thank God someone is writing about these doctors. If enough people refused to accept this kind of treatment (or as I call it, non-treatment) from doctors — and if these physicians’ livelihoods were threatened — they would sure change their behaviour in no time flat…
I enjoyed reading your work! GREAT post! I looked around for this… but I found you!
Anyway, would you mind if I threw up a backlink from my site to your site?
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