Dear Judy,
I notice you get lots of emails about inheritance and wills, usually from disgruntled heirs or a relative who has her eye on Granny’s diamonds or Persian rugs. So let me tell you and your readers what my Granny did to prevent the feuding, resentment and carping that usually accompanies will-reading.
Our grandmother was really smart. She divided all her real estate and liquid assets equally among her heirs. Then — and she provided for this too, even suggesting it in her will – a month after her death, we all congregated in her empty city condo, and went over her possessions.
Each of us first picked one solitary thing we really loved (I picked the Persian rug I just mentioned; my brother had his eye on a lovely 18th century Limoges bowl, which was worth a lot). After everyone picked their first choice, we all went around again and picked the next thing each of us wanted. If there was a dispute — sometimes two of us wanted the same item, like the silver serving spoons – the person who bowed out got to be first in the 3rd round of choosing.
By the time the last round came around, we were down to choosing darkened mirrors and cracked leather wallets and such. But we also spent time drinking a lot of wine and reminiscing and the get-together was really sentimental as well as remunerative!
I thought your readers might like to hear about it. It saved everyone a world of acrimony and jealousy and resentment, and it was fun. In fact it brought a lot of us closer.
Lesley
Dear Lesley,
My guess is: my readers do want to hear about this sensible and affectionate way of dividing up property after someone dies. Although it might seem too materialistic an occasion for some mourners.
Does anyone have any thoughts about this? Better ideas? Horrible experiences? I’d like to hear about them!
Judy
Brilliant!
This sort of thing succeeds only in families where everyone gets on well, does their share for each other etc. This gran divided all her property and liquid assets equally, that already tells you something about the family. However — if one child is selfish and ignores the aging parent, or a granchild is an addict, this fairy tale arrangement isn’t likely to work.
Personally, I think it’s a good idea if everyone can get to the condo at the same time. In my family, most of us are on the road, and rarely able to be in the same place on a given day.
One way to solve it is with Skype and a video cam, so that this “auction” has everyone in it.
Like your stuff
What a neat idea! How much fun would it be to take part in that prior to passing?
We could invilte all to a “joyful GIVING away party” (not a “GOING away party” that would seem to make it sad). Make drinks, dip and give away all your stuff!
What a great story!