Dear Judy
When my father, from whom I was estranged, died my mother insisted for reasons I cannot fathom that I go to his funeral. God knows why, but I did go. I’m still kicking myself. When my father left the family, I was 11, my sister 10, and he barely paid any attention at all to any of us after that.
Anyway, my point now is I know someone in a similar situation. Her father is 78 and really sick. He was especially nice to her, ever, and never paid a dime in child support. Meanwhile her mother and grandparents are telling her that when the time comes, she should attend his funeral. Should she? It’s about 400 miles away.
Bad Memories in DC
Dear Memories,
Funerals are in one way a lot like weddings, christenings or bar mitzvahs. No one has to go. If your friend didn’t like the deceased for whatever reason, it would be hypocritical to pretend to mourn. And let’s face it, downright rude, in a crowd of weepers, not to pretend.
Tell her to save the airfare.
Thanks for writing
Judy
