Dear Judy
My brother’s wife just died. She was awful (When I say: rude, stingy, bad-tempered, you’ll know what I mean). Also: she wasn’t even nice to my 2 kids who are 11 and 13, and they’re pretty well-behaved. She never gave them so much as a birthday card.
My brother though is in a bad way. His wife was pretty young (48) for a heart attack, and I guess he’s in a state of shock.
I never really told him how I felt about his wife while she was alive. But he’s got such a hang-dog look these days. Do you think it might be a good deed in disguise if I tell him how I (and the rest of the family) always felt about his dead wife?
Reggie
Dear Reggie,
No. The disguise will be a lot more visible to your brother than the “blessing.”
Judy
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on Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 at 1:42 am and is filed under Advice.
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If my sister-in-law was as mean-spirited, inconsiderate, selfish and insensitive as Reggie appears to be, life would be intolerable. You get what you give.
Judy, how many times need I tell you that you need to get your facts before you can answer questions? In this case, what does “just” mean? if the sister in law died a week or even a month ago, this is not the time to say anything. But if its been some months and the brother is starting to date again, what is wrong with very subtle comments, something like: “It will be difficult to find someone like Stingy again, I wonnder what personality traits you will look for this time?” That will get him to think and understand.
Reggie is obviously trying to replace Mother Teresa, up there with the angels. How disgusting to want to to trash a recently deceased wife! I’ve seen some pretty crude and hurtful questions on CheckoutLine, but this one wins, hands down.