Dear Judy,
There’s a family friend who was really nice to my father when he was dying. Now she herself has lung cancer, fairly advanced. She goes in and out of hospital treatment, chemo, the works.
My mother, whom I dearly love, keeps telling me I have to drive this family friend around: to hospital treatments, docs, the works. I have a full-time job, a 3-year-old and my husband left us both right after I gave birth.
What do you think? I’m not in a position to tell my boss I’ll be missing half the day or tell daycare I won’t be around until evening to pick up my son.
My mother said whatever you say, it’s law.
Lucy
Dear Lucy,
I’m not sure my advice falls under any legal category, but I will tell you this:
Do only as much for the family friend as you reasonably can. You have a child who, from what you write, is wholly dependent on you, and you have a job you can’t afford to lose, especially not in this economy.
Here’s a thought though: enlist your mother, if she’s mobile and healthy, in the campaign to help her friend. She and your late father are the ones who benefited from that friend’s kindness, after all. Maybe she can lead the posse that could come to that friend’s aid. Tell your mother to call around and see if others can help out.
You can’t be the only one on her list. And you shouldn’t be.
Thank you for writing
Judy
