Dear Judy,
I know you’re going to find this is really strange email, but I thought I’d give it a try anyway, and see if you’d answer.
I’ve always been afraid of dogs — a poodle, believe it or not, bit me when I was four or five, and that kind of ended any relationship I wanted with any of them. And my husband who has prostate cancer, which has unfortunately metastasized, knows about my longtime estrangement from the species.
So now he wants a dog — he says it would make him feel better, if we had, say, a corgi or a terrier, but he isn’t really fussy about the breed. I really love my husband. We’ve been married 16 years, and he’s a good guy. I guess it would make him happier in his last year or so of life to have a dog around. But what about me?
Any thoughts?
Eileen in Rhode Island
Dear Eileen,
Here’s an idea. Perhaps you have a friend who wouldn’t mind loaning your husband a dog every once in a while. You might arrange to be out during these loaner visits. Maybe, if you get used to the idea, you might accept the dog for a few days at a time. (Or you might not, if it becomes too traumatic).
I’m not saying you’ll get really attached to the animal — although stranger things have happened. But it would provide companionship for your husband, and as you say, make him happy.
And at least you wouldn’t be stuck with the dog for the rest of your life. As for the nature of your question: rest assured, I don’t find it strange at all. You should see the rest of the emails I get…
Thank you for writing.
Judy
Although I will not understand this woman’s situation in a million years, I felt the need to comment because sometimes it IS about the person who is dying and at the end a dog is your best friend.
I have been there for two friends who passed away, one grandparent and am currently a caregiver for my mother. In each instance having a dog there was so important for the person who was terminal. Dogs don’t have issues - and they always know when you need them, and they stay by your side.
Eileen may find that by first contacting a therapy dog group - usually attached to hospitals - that she can overcome her issues, give her husband a gift, and if she eventually chooses to get a dog of her own, may end up with a dog that is supportive and loving during her own grieving process -
or to speak from the heart - much as I love my friends & family, I know that personally the one to stick around when I am dying will be my dog.
cheers -