Dear Judy,
I don’t know if this is up your alley: my housekeeper’s husband died pretty suddenly. That was 6 months ago, and sometimes she shows up, and sometimes she doesn’t. This never happened before. She was always on time and efficient.
I don’t know what’s going on in her private life. But I do know, with 3 kids and a full-time job, I need someone dependable to help me clean up — and since she never phones if she’s not coming, I don’t know what to expect. I don’t want to fire her, especially with the loss she incurred.
But I can’t stand the suspense of never knowing whether I’ll come home to a complete mess or a neat home.
Ideas?
Olga
Dear Olga,
It seems to me that it’s long past time for a sit-down with your housekeeper, the one thing you’ve been avoiding. Am I right?
My guess is you just don’t want to be involved in whatever series of crises are besetting her these days. But here you are, waiting for a frequent no-show — and that’s no solution to your problems, or hers.
So sit down with the housekeeper. Tell her openly just what you told me: that you feel bad for her, but that you absolutely need someone dependable to help you out. Tell her also that if, for whatever reason, she cannot show up, she has to phone you with a credible explanation, preferably in advance. No phone call, no job. It’s that simple.
I find that if you lay it out straight for people, you tend to get results. If you’re shy about expressing what you expect and need, you get nothing.
And if you discover that she has a set of problems that cannot be easily resolved, tell her that when she is ready to work steadily again, you’ll give her names to friends and neighbors. And do it.
Thanks for writing
Judy
