Dear Judy,
Please solve a dilemma. My husband and I are quarreling constantly.
We have three grandchildren, all in their teens, and our Will makes ample provision for all their (prospective) college and grad school educations.
Personally, I imagine I will be dead within 2 years; I have emphysema and a bad heart. My husband’s health is also very poor. About our only comfort is our adult children, all three of them professionals who are doing well. The teenage grandchildren are a mess. I don’t know what happened there.
One of the grandchildren, 17, wants to be a hairdresser — he is a nice enough kid, but his choice of career upsets me. I think it means no college too, so why bother providing for that in our Will. Another of the grandchildren, also 17, says he wants to be a chef. Chefs in my book do not need a college education much less grad school.
So should we leave our money to PETA? Or some hospital?
Irene
Dear Irene,
Whenever anyone asks me a question about inheritance, I offer one back:
How do you want to be remembered?
As someone who didn’t live her heirs a penny?
As a grandmother who wished to control the lives — and livelihoods — of her children and grandchildren from beyond the grave?
Or as someone who loved and was beloved.
The only way any of us have of showing love after death is through our Wills. That’s unfortunate, but that’s the way it is. Before you leave your estate to endangered cheetahs, I suggest you think about this.
Thank you for writing
Judy
I completely agree with Judy. But have a suggestion for Irene, who obviously believes it’s best to have a good education. She should seek out maybe a disadvantaged child and give him (or her) an opportunity to succeed by paying for that kid’s education. Great idea, I think.
At 17, kids want to do all sorts of things. It’s not a lifetime commitment for them, and should not be one for you. They’ll change their minds, and make you proud.
Hey lady, it’s your money. You earned it. Don’t let someone guilt you into passing it down to whomever — especially if they p— you off!
You can do a combination…and be known as someone who provided for the family and supported worthy causes.
What a snob…what’s wrong with being a chef or hairdresser?