Comments on: Is A Party a Great Place To Offer Condolences? http://www.thecheckoutline.org/advice/is-a-party-a-great-place-to-offer-condolences/ Advice for Dying and Death - When Sympathy Isnt Enough Fri, 18 May 2012 11:37:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Jade http://www.thecheckoutline.org/advice/is-a-party-a-great-place-to-offer-condolences/comment-page-1/#comment-3 Jade Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:52:01 +0000 http://www.thecheckoutline.org/advice/is-a-party-a-great-place-to-offer-condolences/#comment-3 I lost a spouse tragically, and encountered this same mentality from others who, for one reason or another, never contacted me at the time of his death. They would offer awkward condolences in seemingly inappropriate settings. And while sometimes it was shocking or unexpected to have these expressions of sadness in a situation that didn't seem the right time nor place, if the expression was heartfelt I deeply appreciated it. In my opinion the most tactful and kind thing to say is simply the truth: "I didn't contact you because I didn't know what to say; and now, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for your loss." Someone said very similar words to me more than a year after my husband died; it was honest and it was meant to express compassion, and it didn't bother me at all. I lost a spouse tragically, and encountered this same mentality from others who, for one reason or another, never contacted me at the time of his death. They would offer awkward condolences in seemingly inappropriate settings. And while sometimes it was shocking or unexpected to have these expressions of sadness in a situation that didn’t seem the right time nor place, if the expression was heartfelt I deeply appreciated it.

In my opinion the most tactful and kind thing to say is simply the truth: “I didn’t contact you because I didn’t know what to say; and now, I just want to tell you that I’m sorry for your loss.”

Someone said very similar words to me more than a year after my husband died; it was honest and it was meant to express compassion, and it didn’t bother me at all.

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