Dear Judy,
Our mother died a year ago. Actually, she killed herself (drugs and alcohol…). My younger sister who is 18 found her body, and called the ambulance but it was too late. My sister was living at home. I am in grad school in New York.
My question is: what do I do about my sister? My father (divorced from our mother) says “She is just going through a phase.” But I don’t think it’s that easy.
My sister won’t apply to college. She says our father “needs” her to stay with him. (Our father doesn’t need anyone except the women he sees, and they change pretty often). My sister basically sleeps all day. She keeps pulling her hair out. At night she sees a guy she won’t let me meet, she won’t say why.
I think she’s also doing drugs big-time, and not just at parties either.
What do I say to her? Do?
Eileen
Dear Eileen,
If your sister is acting peculiar, who can blame her? She was the one who found your mother’s body, and she has all my sympathy.
I guess your father isn’t the best person to address about this situation, but maybe he is the one who has the money to pay for a therapist for your sister.
Tell your father from me that a young woman who sleeps all day, pulls out her hair, and does plenty of drugs is depressed. Clinically depressed. And if he doesn’t want a recurrence of your mother’s fate, he has to fork out for a therapist for your sister.
Since you’re in grad school, I’ll bet you can call the psych department of your university and find names of good therapists in the area where your sisters lives.
Do it now, please. One day your sister will thank you.
And thanks for writing
Judy
