Dear Judy,
Five years ago, my husband left me: I don’t want to sound pathetic, we had a mediocre marriage. But I was surprised. I thought it would go on til…whenever.
It turned out he had a girlfriend, whom he married. We have 2 teenage kids, so things have been civilized between us, despite the divorce. Now it turns out my ex-husband has prostate cancer which they caught very late (he hates doctors). The cancer has spread, and my ex thinks it’s terminal.
He wants me to be the executor of his Will. He just told me he doesn’t trust anyone the way he trusts me, and he’s scared his current wife might try to rip off the kids. I have legal training, but don’t practice. What do you think?
Bernice
Dear Bernice,
My guess is your dying ex knows something, or some things, he’s not telling you. Like why he doesn’t trust his wife. Or why he thinks she might “rip off” your children.
As you know, you don’t have to be a lawyer or even have legal training to be an executor of a Will. But I’m sure your former husband had your legal background in mind when he suggested you take over the job and protect your kids’ interests.
For the sake of your teenagers, I’d go along with his suggestion. Do what your former spouse suggests. It will be a comfort to him. And it may well be a boon to your children.
Thank you for writing
Judy
Sounds like someone regrets his ex is his ex…
Bernice can agree to do it — but only if she knows that the current wife gets enough in the will. Otherwise the current wife might drag everyone through the courts trying to persuade them that Bernice had some kind of weird hold on her ex. Even better, the ex should get the wife’s agreement to the proposed arrangement. I’m an estate lawyer, btw, never seen this kind of option before
Bernice should refuse. This is idiotic. No good can come out of it, too much baggage for this idea to work . The ex should hire a lawyer to do be executor, or appoint a reliable friend. Might cost him, but every penny.
This is a prescription for disaster. Imagine the funeral arrangements, for starters. A widow, the ex wife who is the mother of the dead man’s children and and also the executor. Who decides how the decedent is to be buried? If the sales proceeds from the sale of the house is included in the Will, who who gets to accept the offer, the widow who lives there or the ex?
I agree with Jos: If the wife and the ex ar both in on the plans and both women know everything about the Will ahead of time, maybe this could all succeed.
Maybe.
But in general, it’s a dumb idea.