Dear Judy,
I never thought I would write anybody about something so personal, but my father is going crazy. We all expected him to die pretty soon — I can deal with that, and so can my sisters and our mother. But he’s turning into a raving lunatic: he’s been diagnosed as having infarct dementia, caused by many, many years of high blood pressure (and eating and drinking whatever the hell he wanted whenever he wanted it).
Sometimes he even hears voices. He calls them his “little men.” These little men tell him to do certain things he knows he shouldn’t. Last week his “little men” told him to break the window in the back door, so he did.
Judy, I live 1,000 miles away, because that’s where my family and my job are. But the stress is really taking its toll on my mother and my youngest sister who is only 17, very impressionable and still living at home. How can I help them in this time of crisis? I’m being torn apart by all this, but I know it’s worse for my mother.
Annette
Dear Annette,
As you likely know, multi-infarct demetia is caused by a series of small strokes that can destroy brain tissue. Very likely these tiny strokes went undetected for a time, until the psychotic episodes you describe began.
Given the irreversible damage to your father’s mental condition, I think the only people you can really help now are your mother and young sister. They need a care provider for your father to relieve them of the total burden of looking after him 24/7.
And I think they need someone to talk to — preferably a professional counselor. I realize you are far away, but perhaps you and other family members can contribute monetary help, so that the two women in the house can get some relief.
Thank you for writing.
Judy
