Dear Judy,
I’m sorry to bring up this trivial problem. Your readers, from what I’ve read, have far worse and more terrible problems on their minds. But this one is haunting me, no pun intended.
I live in a medium-sized city, which I won’t name for reasons that will become obvious. My aunt, who died 2 months ago, thought herself this incredibly talented artist, and so did her husband, my uncle by marriage. My aunt’s so-called talent diminished with age, and she died at 90 of Alzheimer’s so I leave the rest to your imagination.
My uncle distributed her “artwork” to several of us relatives, and as he visits occasionally, I just don’t know what to do. I got left a paintig that was supposed to reprsent a vase full of flowers. My teenage daughter burst out laughing when we unwrapped it. I can’t hang the thing, obviously.
On the other hand, I don’t want to hurt my uncle’s feelings. He’s very lonely. Sometimes he pays us an unexpected visit. Sometimes he calls in advance.
What to do?
Francine
Dear Francine,
I’ve been in the same situation, so I share your pain. Here’s what you do:
When your uncle informs you in advance that he intends to visit, no problem: Hang the painting in a prominent venue. Like the living room. Take it down when he leaves.
When he doesn’t let you know ahead of time, but just pops in unannounced (a habit you should have long ago discouraged anyway) — tell him the painting is being cleaned. Or re-framed. Or on loan to a friend. Whatever.
See? The solution is simple. As long as you make sure your uncle knows that you’re delighted to see him only if he phones in advance.
Thank you for writing
Judy
What is it about flowers that inspires old “artists”? I also have a bunch, albeit from a living relative. My study is dark, and my aunt was thrilled to see that I use her delightful work to lighten and brighten the room where I spend so much time! Needless to say, it is behind where I usually sit, So I never see it!
Reframing. I like that.
Will it do anyone the slightest harm to show a bit of kindness to an old person? It’s truly sad when taste trumps respect and decency
Why not hang it in your study (far from any public room), and explain to your uncle you value it so much, it gives you such comfort that you want to look at it while you work?