Dear Judy,
We’re all adults — not children, but our question probably sounds ridiculous, which is why all 3 of us are writing you. Our mother died 2 years ago. Our father remarried (we thought a bit hastily..) last year.
She’s nice enough. A widow herself, with a grown son. In any social situation, though, she refers to herself as our “mom.” And we, believe it or not, are her “kids.” (I am 27, so that gives you a fair idea of how embarrassing this all is. And my twin brothers are 30)
What do we say? Do? Should we correct her? In public?
Dawn
Dear Dawn,
First of all, you never correct nice people who mean well in public. Secondly, you’d be better off not correcting the nice person who married your father — ever. At least not over the kind of issue that seems to rankle you.
I know, I know. She is not your mother. She’s not even really your stepmother. But so what?
If it’s really all that important for you to set the record straight, you might try heading off the misnomer with an early introduction of your own invention: “This is my father’s wife, Leslie…”
Oh — and your feelings about the hastiness of their marriage?
Lose them.
Thank you for writing
Judy
Would Dawn prefer a woman who limits her father’s contact with his family?