Dear Judy,
My father has Alzheimer’s: it’s getting worse and worse. He lives in New Jersey. I live in Arizona — and I’m his only living child.
I have to work for a living — I have a wife, 3 kids under the age of 17, and a completely insecure job that I’m afraid of leaving for “compassionate leave.” There’s nothing compassionate about the company, especially if you have a medical problem or are related to someone who does. They find a reason to fire you.
How do I make sure my Dad gets the care he needs — and no longer knows he needs?
Robert
Dear Robert,
Your first order of business is to find out if your father has longterm care insurance: a surprising number of older people do, but never take the sensible step of telling their children about it.
If your father has a lawyer, contact that person right away, and see if anything can be discovered by going through your father’s papers. If he has a housekeeper, ask that person as well.
In addition: Since Thanksgiving and Christmas are both coming up, I suggest you take advantage of those holidays and fly out to go through your father’s files, yourself.
If there is no longterm care insurance, your next move is to see what Medicare and/or your father’s private insurance (if any) might provide. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, I think: Medicare pays for some home care assistance under an assortment of circumstances, and your father may qualify.
And finally: if you can, complement whatever Medicare omits by trying to find care for you father: someone to help him do those chores he can no longer manage.
Thank you for writing
Judy
