Dear Judy,
You’re going to think I’m selfish, but I’m not. When the lover of my close friend was dying, I did everything for her. Took her to the hairdresser, straightened out her drawers, accompanied her to the hospital.
I didn’t expect much in return, and I certainly didn’t get it. My mother is now dying of congestive heart failure, and I don’t hear a word out of my so-called friend. Not a note, not a visit, not a bunch of flowers.
She knows my mother is very ill because I called to tell her months ago. At the time she said she was sorry and would help out.
So why hasn’t she? Should I even speak to her again?
Eileen
Dear Eileen,
I don’t know your friend. But I do know this: there are people who have to be asked before they’ll help.
I know that sounds awful, considering the time and care you put into helping your good friend — without being asked – while her lover was dying. But friendships are valuable. So before breaking off this one, give her another call and another chance at reciprocity.
Spell out what you need. Then tell her the days on which you need help and what kind of assistance would be most valuable.
My bet is with that kind of specific information at her disposal, she’ll come through.
Thank you for writing
Judy
