Dear Judy,
My wife died a year ago. Our grown kids and I have worked together to create a kind of memorial reflection on what she meant to us – we plan to offer these memories to guests, along with food and wine. , commemorating her life — it will be happy and sad at the same time. Also, we’ll visit her grave with flowers on the same day.
Some of our relatives feel this is really an insult to her memory. They call the memorial which we plan to have at home “a party.” And they say they’ll only come to visit my wife’s grave.
But our friends say they like the combination or remembering her and also visiting the grave, together in one day.
So what do we do?
Alan
Dear Alan,
Do exactly what you and your adult offspring want to do. If relatives are so unbending, they can come to whatever event they choose. If friends are open to both forms of respect for your late wife, you know how smart you are in picking them!
I’m always amazed that death seems set the stage for at least as many examples of insulting behavior as weddings. Do exactly as you planned, and don’t let anyone dissuade you.
Thank you for writing
Judy
