Dear Judy,
Our father is going fast — congestive heart failure, as well as an assortment of other issues, and he doesn’t have long. My sister is already planning the funeral (she’s like that: plans everything).
She has, if you can believe this, picked out at our local funeral home a casket that costs $11,100. It’s supposed bronze with some kind of metal lining to prevent “leakage.” That’s so gross I almost fainted when she told me. Also, there’s a vault, which will cost even more and limo service, the works.
Our father was a dentist with a small practice in a rural community. He never liked fuss and he hated ceremonies. He also isn’t leaving us a huge estate. I don’t want to start a family quarrel, but don’t you think I should say something?
Penny
Dear Penny,
I’m sorry your father is dying. And I’m also sorry your sister is barreling on ahead and planning a ceremony without consulting you.
On the whole, I am exactly of your opinion: there’s no need to spend a lot on a funeral. In fact, it’s criminal. But to save you from a family argument on that subject, here’s an idea.
Tell your sister that you believe in simple, low-cost funerals, because that’s what your father would wish. Add that if she insists on buying expensive caskets and renting limos, you’ll support her — as long as she defrays the entire cost herself. But if something simpler and less costly is chosen, you’ll pay half.
I think that should solve any issues that might arise.
Thank you for writing
Judy
I found your blog on MSN Search. Nice writing. I will check back to read more.
Eric Hundin
That is alot of moolah..and the leakage part was really gross.
Judy…do you know what the average person or family spends on funeral services. I was wondering?? I am sure there are statistics out there, I am curious.
The best story I have is one in which the family decided to build their own casket, dig their own site up…I am not kidding. In some states you can bury on your own property or family plot, there are rules, but it can be done. . They did it by hand, talk about blood, sweat and tears! Very close family! Actually, it was very cool.
The average funeral costs around $4,000 for what funeral home owners call “a basic services fee.” But Americans in the aggregate spend from $11 billion - $15 billion on funerals. An amazing sum. Especially amazing in this terrible economy.
According to the NFDA (National Funeral Directors Association) the national average funeral cost is $6000. I do not believe this includes the price of a burial plot. I don’t see how it could. Out here in CA the average plot starts in the $3000 range and then you’re going to be nicked for roughly another $1000 for “opening & closing” costs. Cemeteries often mandate an “outer burial container” (commonly referred to as “the vault”) to place the casket in for two reasons; 1) the event of a natural disaster they don’t want the casket coming to the surface (a la Katrina) and 2) a casket will be crushed by the weight of the ground above it causing the grave to sink. Also, “by leakage” they most probably meant ground water seeping into the vault/casket (if they’re non-sealers). Some families are concerned with this eventuality.
And a $11,000 casket would have to be some high-end material such as bronze or copper. These are the uber protective caskets, meaning they never deteriorate. They also make vaults too out of these metals and boy, are they pricey!
Hope that helps. R Wilhelm.