Dear Judy,
I am 19 and I go to college. When I was 10 my father died. My mother and grandfather always said my mother died in a car accident because his vision was always bad, and the night was dark (his car rolled over a hill late at night on a badly lit road not far from our house, and he was killed instantly).
But 3 weeks ago his sister, my aunt, told me actually he killed himself. He had talked about it a lot with her, and she didn’t believe he’d go through with it, but she thinks it’s no accident that he died.
I haven’t told my mother. Should I? Should I believe my aunt? What do you think?
Toni
Dear Toni,
I can’t imagine what inspired your aunt to tell you that your father killed himself. Maybe he told her he was depressed and wanted to die, and maybe he didn’t want to die at all.
But one thing you do know: your father died late at night when the road was so dark he could barely see. That is a very iffy way to plan a suicide. He might have survived the accident. He might have been horribly injured or disfigured for life. People who are intent on killing themselves usually choose surer methods.
You asked if you should tell your mother what your aunt said. I opt for — Yes. It will pain your mother to hear all this, but she’s the one who should put a stop to it.
Thank you for writing
Judy
