Dear Judy,
My mother keeps tell us she’s going to leave everything “to the church.” We don’t belong to a church. My mother never spent an hour in church in her life. My sister and I were never taken there as children.
Mom’s in her seventies now, and I guess she’s scared — of something. Maybe God. Maybe Hell, who knows? She has quite a bit of money which, frankly, when she’s gone my sister and I could use.
Any thoughts on how to prevent her giving money to an institution she never had time for when she was young? Or old? I think the whole thing is ridiculous.
Also, do you think she has dementia?
Ruthanne
Dear Ruthanne,
To answer your last question first, the only way to tell if your mother has dementia is to have her tested. There are a number of Alzheimer’s specialists who can test for dementia — even if the condition is not caused by Alzheimer’s Disease, but by, say, mini-strokes.
And yes, it might be a good idea to have your mother tested: but you will need her consent.
As for the rest of the matter: where she will leave her money. My bet is you’re onto something. Your mother is scared. Assuming your mother is in good health, it might be a sound idea for you to broach her fears with her. Ask her if the aging process scares her. Listen to her. Ask her also if she’s like to talk to someone professional about these fears. That kind of resolution may prevent the more drastic step of throwing money at religion in the hope of buying herself an Afterlife.
Thanks for writing
Judy
