Dear Judy,
I belong to a pretty large church with a big congregation, some of its members very flush, some not. 2 weeks ago, one of our congregation died, and I happen to know his widow and 2 kids (not exactly kids, tho, both in their 20’s) are well-provided for.
Last Sunday our pastor told us the opposite: that the widow is in deep financial trouble and we should give what we could to help her out. I saw her in her usual pew, nodding and sobbing, and trying to act all grateful. I happen to know she has a 2009 Mercedes in her garage, very good jewelry (she wore some of it at the funeral) and her home is worth $3 million even in this market.
Is this fair? Shouldn’t I speak out and explain the situation? Why should people donate to a wealthy widow?
June
Dear June,
I’ve received emails like yours before, and I always say the same thing: no one really knows the finances of someone else, unless there’s been a public investigation. And even then… Look at Bernie Madoff!
In your position, I’d keep my thoughts to myself. For all you know, the house may be mortgaged and the jewels fake. If you’re still suspicious that she’s feigning poverty and don’t want to donate, then don’t donate.
Thank you for writing
Judy
The house might well be mortaged and the jewels could be fake, but a 2009 Merc in the garage of people asking for charity doesn’t look good. Appearances count.
How awful to need help and then have people nose around your finances and peek into your garage!
I’m sorry — did June do a thorough investigation of the deceased’s finances? Is that how she knows his total worth? And she’s read his IRS returns as well, maybe? And knows he died debt-free, despite the current economic woes???
And the Mercedes could be leased.
Many people with the “looks” of living high on the hog are really BROKE. Besides wealth is all relative. I consider myself rich in many ways, money not being a criteria. Besides, I do have great shoes