Dear Judy,
My mother is dying slowly. She has congestive heart failure, which happens these days on a weekly basis — and each time, a bit more of her brain dies. She is at home now with a full-time care-giver.
I am tempted to use hospice care — but does that mean she cannot be taken to a hospital the next time an emergency strikes, to have them deal with the fluid in her lungs? Ie. Does it mean the next time my Mom has congestive heart failure, she basically has to die?
Barbara in Washington DC
Dear Barbara,
Hospice care is largely palliative. It is intended to reduce pain, anxiety, depression and nausea: any of the outward signs and symptoms of a terminal illness. So that means hospice care is not intended to extend life — just a patient’s comfort.
You are very likely right. A hospice will not phone for an ambulance to take your mother to the hospital the next time she has a medical emergency. They will, however, give her medication to reduce the fluid in her lungs and to relieve anxiety.
You of course are at liberty to phone an ambulance in the event of an emergency. But I do advise you to consult your mother’s Living Will (or Advance Medical Directive) if she has one. See who she appointed her “attorney-in-fact,” meaning the person designated to make end-of-life medical decisions for her. That person might be you.
Then think about what your mother might want in extreme circumstances. And think about the kind of life she has ahead of her. You know her best.
Thank you for writing.
Judy
