Dear Judy,
I am 19 and I live with my father. His father died suddenly 1 month ago from heart problems.
My Dad drives to see his Mom every weekend, it’s a 2-hour drive each way! He is very overweight and suffers from insomnia and depression (he decided not to take any mood elevators lately…) He’s stressed all the time and obviously upset about the death of his father.
I’m terrified something is going to happen to him. Maybe he’ll fall asleep at the wheel, because he drives long distances and is often tired.
I’m trying to be helpful and not rock the boat. But I don’t know what to do to help my father.
Jeff
Dear Jeff,
Of course you can suggest, gently, to your father that you’re worried about his health. But you must strategize carefully.
Here’s how: Ask for a moment alone with him, maybe after dinner or during a weekend. Some time when he’s relaxed. Or in your father’s case, less stressed.
Then tell him how much you love him and need him in your life. And that you know his own father’s death has been hard him, and you want to make sure that he, your father, stays healthy.
Do NOT mention his weight. He knows all about that. But do say you know he is anxious, not sleeping well, and you think a trip to the doctor is in order. Very likely the doctor will mention his weight, and help him there as well.
And if your father chooses not to go to the doctor — well, at least you’ve done what you can. But my money’s on you.
Thanks for writing
Judy
