Dear Judy,
What do I wear to the funeral of my late boss? He was an out-and-out pig, and I hated him. Part of me wants to wear tight silver lame with matching sandals or a long bosom-baring red gown with bugle beads.
The rest of me thinks maybe this is not such a good idea. In fact maybe I shouldn’t go to the funeral at all. Maybe I should throw a big party with fireworks instead.
Marlene
Dear Marlene,
Yes, yes, it’s so rare we get to gloat, isn’t it? And it does seem that most jerks tend to live forever. How fortunate for you that this one took an early exit.
Still, I can’t in good conscience counsel the red gown with bugle beads as appropriate funeral attire. Or the fireworks. Why?
Because, and I bet you thought of this already, a lot of people from your office might also be in attendance, your new boss included quite probably. They will very probably judge you harshly if you turn up in bosom-baring gowns or silver lame.
This will not be good for your professional longevity, most probably.
Maybe this is wrong or hypocritical, on their part. Maybe they hated the deceased boss as much as you did. Maybe even his widow is in your crowded corner. But they won’t think more of you for showing it, I promise.
So go to the funeral. Wear something sober and conservative. Don’t crack jokes (audibly).
And then go home, pop open the champagne, toast yourself – and have a blast.
Thank you for writing
Judy
When I first read Marlene’s question, my reaction was she was trying to pull Judy’s leg, just to see if she will answer. Then I read it again, and I think I see why she had a relationship like that with her boss. This woman has no concept of respect or propriety. I am pretty certain she has twisted relationships with a lot of people. Unless she wakes up and takes a good look at herself, she will find herself in a long series of impossible working situations.
Don’t go, but send a note to the family expressing your condolences and give an excuse for your absence.