Dear Judy,
4 years ago my husband died in a car crash, head-on. We have 2 children, and at the time of my husband’s death they were 5 and 2.
My in-laws have been terrific. Very supportive, kind, and generous, and I really appreciated that, and still do. They still babysit whenever I have class (I am getting a degree in accounting).
The problem is I know I met someone who will be very important in my life. We’re probably going to get married, even though he hasn’t yet asked. He is kind and thoughtful, but he’s not a Christian (he says he’s a Buddhist, if anything, but sometimes I wonder if he’s even that).
My in-laws are very religious and go to church almost every Sunday. They are NOT happy. I don’t want to alienate them, but I also want to keep this man in my life. Any suggestions?
Fran
Dear Fran,
This is one of those situations where you just have to count on the good will of your in-laws, because a) there’s nothing you can or should do about the religion of the man in your life and b) in-laws, no matter how wonderful, kind to their grandchildren and thoughtful, have no right to control your future.
One thing I would counsel, however: this man you love who has yet to propose marriage — don’t count on the marriage. You don’t know for sure. And apparently, he doesn’t know for sure.
So before heading towards a confrontation with your children’s loving grandparents, take a deep breath. And do nothing – until if and when he suggests a life together.
Thank you for writing,
Judy
