Dear Judy,
How do I balance helping my 83-year-old mother with breast cancer (I do not want to feel guilt after she dies) with the fact that in many ways I don’t like being with her? I don’t want her to live with me, but lately she’s been dropping hints about “mother-in-law apartments.”
I want to “be [...]
Dear Judy,
My father, who has lung cancer, is getting regular phone calls from his mistress. My father lives with his wife, my mother. I always knew in a way that something was going on in my father’s life, but never wanted to know (or ask) details.
Now it’s in our face. The woman calls at least [...]
Dear Judy,
A few weeks ago my friend’s mother died of breast cancer. The mother was skeptical of Western medicine and refused chemo or radiation. My friend moved my mother into her one-bedroom apartment (my friend slept on the couch), and provided all her end-of-life care.
In the mother’s final days, my friend took her to the [...]
Dear Judy,
My boyfriend’s father has been diagnosed with cancer, and it’s bad.
I live miles away from him, and most of our conversations are via Skype on the Internet. However, my point is I really like him and want to be there for him.
Unfortunately, I have no idea of how to help him with what he’s [...]
Dear Judy,
My mother keeps tell us she’s going to leave everything “to the church.” We don’t belong to a church. My mother never spent an hour in church in her life. My sister and I were never taken there as children.
Mom’s in her seventies now, and I guess she’s scared — of something. Maybe God. [...]
Dear Judy,
My mother has pancreatic cancer. She also has Malignant Personality Disorder! She clearly favored my brother, her “Golden Child,” who could do no wrong. Although frankly he has a drinking problem.
Both my parents physically and emotionally abused me when I was a child, sabotaging my education and leaving me with a lot of lingering [...]
Dear Judy,
I facilitate grief support groups and have been comfortable with the children I work with. However, a school counselor has asked me to sit in while she explains to a 10-year-old boy that Hospice care has been called in for his Grandfather (who in the absence of a real father is basically that child’s [...]
Dear Judy,
Here’s my problem, and I hope you can tell me what to do. I am supposed to go to a funeral next week: a dear friend was killed in a freak accident. But I had promised to go to my niece’s graduation which takes place, far away, on the same day.
My friend’s husband and [...]
Dear Judy,
I know I’m not supposed to feel this way, but I do. My brother is dying, and I don’t want to say goodbye.
We have always been very close, told each other almost everything. I don’t get along with his live-in partner (another guy), but I never discussed this with him. Still, I think he [...]
Dear Judy,
My stepfather is 81 with congestive heart failure and other issues. He complains constantly to my mother and sister that I never visit him.
Actually, I do visit from time to time, but I think he forgets. Either that or he’s malicious. He always was, and I don’t expect him to change now.
The problem is [...]
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Posted on January 24th, 2009