Here’s a question for all you readers who might have aging parents (or aunts or grandparents): Do you reveal the nature of the illness to a relative with Alzheimer’s?
I am sure there are plenty of people who read this who have no idea what to do in such a situation. Tell someone you love he has Alzheimer’s and he might not understand a word you’re saying. Don’t tell — and you may hate yourself for hiding the truth about a debilitating and ultimately fatal disease.
To get an answer from an expert, I contacted Vaughn James, author of “The Alzheimer’s Advisor” and a law professor at Texas Tech University. James has a special connection to the subject matter: his sister has Alzheimer’s.
“In my opinion, you tell the person with Alzheimer’s about it,” he says. “I don’t believe in hiding the ball from anyone. The tipping point with my sister came when I saw everyone else was afraid to tell her about it. So I was the one who broke the news.”
“How did she take it?” I asked.
“She took it well,” James replied. “Because she didn’t understand completely. But I felt I had to tell her anyway.”
Most important of all he says: if someone you love has the disease, get a medical power of attorney or health care proxy as soon as you can. “And a durable power of attorney as well,” he advises. “That’s the one that deals with property and property management issues.
The one thing you want above all for a person with Alzheimer’s is some notion of what medical interventions should — or should not — take place in case of emergency. And the one thing you don’t want is for some lowlife to try to steal the life savings or house of a person with Alzheimer’s.
