Dear Judy,
My elderly father has lived for four years in an assisted living community, where he signed a “Do-Not-Resuscitate” document in the event his heart stopped beating, and also wrote out — in pen — his desire not to have either feeding or breathing tubes, if push came to shove.
Well he suffered congestive heart failure, [...]
For about the 10th time since I started this site in May, someone ostensibly literate and intelligent has written in, describing himself as “very healthy — in fact healthier than almost anyone I know.” Unfortunately this healthy person has no Will.
Only boundless optimism about a future that seems to include immortality.
The advice-seeker does, however, have an excuse [...]
Dear Judy,
My brother is a terminally ill cancer victim. To date no one has actually told him his condition is terminal, so he believes that after therapy he will be going home, and perhaps eventually back to work.
Is it unfair to my brother that no one has given him the bad news? Is it doing [...]
Dear Judy,
My 78-year-old mother long ago did what I notice you always suggest to your online readers: she wrote an Advance Medical Directive, which gave detailed end-of-life instructions in the event she became terminally ill and incapacitated.
Well that is what she is now — incapacitated and dying. Thyroid cancer and congestive heart failure. You name it, she has [...]
Dear Judy,
A close cousin has pancreatic cancer, but she’s in a state of total denial about what this means — ie. a fairly quick death. Also, she keeps talking about what she’s going to do when she gets well: a trip to Greece was mentioned, for instance. She’s also said she might want to get back with [...]
Many years ago — I think I was around 25 and, if we disregard my idiotic Marlboro pack-a-day smoking habit, very healthy — my mother shocked me with a single question:
“How do you want to be buried?”
I remember looking at her, slack-jawed. In the first place, I thought this hardly the question for [...]
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Posted on January 24th, 2009