• Advice

    Posted on September 29th, 2009

    Written by Judy

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    Deal or No Deal? My Late Boyfriend’s Parents

    Dear Judy,
    I’m 27. My boyfriend died in a drunk-driving accident. He was the drunk. I could say a lot about what life with him was like. We had a kid together, he’s 2. I’ll be truthful. I’m glad my boyfriend’s no longer around because of the kid, and other things.
    My boyfriend’s parents want to keep [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on June 17th, 2009

    Written by Judy

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    After Suicide: My In-Laws are Thieves!

    Dear Judy,
     
    I reside in California. I am now a widowed ex-spouse with two minor children. Their Dad and I shared custody, they were very close to him as he was very involved in their lives. He committed suicide one evening after the children and I dropped him off at home. It was shocking to everyone. [...]

  • Blog

    Posted on May 7th, 2009

    Written by Judy

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    Do It Now! Even If You’re Young & Healthy

    Almost every week I get an email from someone who’s received bad news, and doesn’t quite know how to tell the kids. That’s bad enough.
    But worse, far worse, is dying without taking care of the kids. And by that, I don’t simply mean providing them with enough money to make it through college. I mean [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on April 30th, 2009

    Written by Judy

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    After Murder: Kid Trauma

    Dear Judy,
    My daughter who is 9 is very friendly with another little girl in her class, and they’ve had a lot of sleepovers, play-dates, etc. Last week — and I can’t believe I’m writing this — the mother of that little girl was murdered. The estranged father is the main but not the official suspect, but not yet [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on January 14th, 2009

    Written by Judy

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    Do We Have to Tell Our Kids Their Mother is Dying?

    Dear Judy,
    Everything is crashing down on me, so I’m writing you at 4 AM. My wife is very sick with breast cancer, her second bout and it’s spread. We have 2 kids, 9 and 6.
    Our question (mine really, since my wife doesn’t know I’m writing): do we have to tell the children she’s not likely to [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on November 14th, 2008

    Written by Judy

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    Breast Cancer Recurrence — What do I Tell My Kids?

    Dear Judy,
    I’ll make this short. My breast cancer has recurred, third time; I am 37. We thought we had it beat the first time around. My oncologist has told me to “get my affairs in order.”
    One of  my “affairs”: My kids, 10 and 9. What do I tell them? Can I not tell them?  What do I [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on September 1st, 2008

    Written by Judy

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    What to Tell My Kid?

    Dear Judy,
    Years ago, my then-fiancee had a bout with breast cancer, and we both thought she beat it, as did her doctor who was very optimistic. We married, had a son, who is now seven.
    And as I guess you figured out by now, the cancer returned, and it’s metastasized, and it’s very aggressive. My wife’s [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on July 11th, 2008

    Written by Judy

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    Too Sick to Be with My Kid

    Dear Judy,
    I hope I don’t sound hard-hearted, because I’m really not, but my daughter, now in the fourth grade, is being traumatized. At least every other week in school she sees a classmate who is pale, bald, and so skinny that it frightens all the other kids. Sometimes the boy’s skin breaks out in a terrible [...]

  • Advice

    Posted on May 26th, 2008

    Written by Judy

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    At What Age Should a Child Attend a Funeral?

    Dear Judy,
        How would you determine at what age a youngster is equipped to go to a funeral? Does it depend more on the relationship with the dead person, do you think? Or are there age guidelines? I am really in a quandary.
          Mrs. C in Chicago
           Dear Mrs C,
           I do believe, and I [...]