Dear Judy,
How do I balance helping my 83-year-old mother with breast cancer (I do not want to feel guilt after she dies) with the fact that in many ways I don’t like being with her? I don’t want her to live with me, but lately she’s been dropping hints about “mother-in-law apartments.”
I want to “be [...]
Dear Judy,
My mother has had cancer for 10 years. She has endured a number of operations, chemo and radiation — only to have her cancer recur each time. She is strong and brave, though.
In September she underwent an operation to remove the pleurisy in her lungs. But she knows the cancer is taking its toll. [...]
Dear Judy,
Our mother died a year ago. Actually, she killed herself (drugs and alcohol…). My younger sister who is 18 found her body, and called the ambulance but it was too late. My sister was living at home. I am in grad school in New York.
My question is: what do I do about my sister? [...]
Dear Judy,
My mother has MS. She is 52 and has had it since age 30. You know the disease. It progresses then stops, progresses then stops.
The thing is, she has stopped herself. She doesn’t do much of anything any more and I know she can do some things. She can read. She can talk. She [...]
Dear Judy,
I am 19 and I live with my father. His father died suddenly 1 month ago from heart problems.
My Dad drives to see his Mom every weekend, it’s a 2-hour drive each way! He is very overweight and suffers from insomnia and depression (he decided not to take any mood elevators lately…) He’s stressed all [...]
Dear Judy,
My mother learned she had cancer a year ago; it is of unknown origin but it has spread to her liver. The oncologist said she had just months to live. That was 8 months ago.
She is still alive. We called the nearest hospice and the personnel who help her out are really good.
Our problem [...]
Dear Judy,
Lately everything seems to have gone wrong in my life. My father has terminal cancer: he has maybe 2 years to live, maybe months. I am working 1000’s of miles away from him.
My girlfriend of 2 years left me. I since learned she was seeing other guys behind my back. This has devastated me.
I [...]
Dear Judy,
To my mind bad uncontrollable depression is as much a terminal disease as anything any of your readers usually write in about (I’ve been doing a SEARCH on thecheckoutline…).
My wife has what I’d call “terminal depression,” and so far nothing has proved a permanent cure, and we’ve tried just about every pill, shrink and [...]
Dear Judy,
I’m in a real quandary and I hear you are good at resolving quandaries. Here’s the problem. A really close friend of mine is dating a guy I’ve known for years. In fact we grew up together, and I knew his father when I was a kid, growing up. My mother knew his grandmother [...]
Dear Judy,
A friend of mine lost her husband last year. She is 55, and she was devastated when he died (he had Alzheimer’s, early onset). When my friend speaks of her dead husband, she doesn’t really pretend he’s still alive. But at other times, she acts weird, and pretends she’s acting on his behalf.
For one thing, she does [...]
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Posted on January 24th, 2009