Dear Judy,
My friend of 5 years, with whom I was living until November, died of ovarian cancer. We were deeply in love, and when she died, I really didn’t feel there was much left for me in life.
I don’t want to be melodramatic, but I still feel that way. Until I met her, I’d never [...]
Dear Judy,
I’m writing because someone I loved very much died on 9/11. It wasn’t a husband or anyone I can openly acknowledge because he was married.
Nonetheless, there are plenty of people who knew about us and what we meant to each other. For years I’ve belong to a book club, and a number of its members [...]
Dear Judy,
I lost my longtime live-in friend a year ago, almost exactly. He had pancreatic cancer and that was that.
In the beginning, friends would call all the time, asking me over to their place or dropping in for a visit. I felt loved, even though I had lost the person I loved most in the world.
Then [...]
Dear Judy
What is it with you? I’ve been trying your SEARCH function on thecheckoutline.org, and there’s almost nothing about a person’s grief when an animal dies.
Our poodle died in July. He was 14, and I can’t remember when I’ve ever felt this distressed. I couldn’t eat and hardly slept. My companion felt much the same, [...]
Dear Judy,
I bet you don’t get too many emails asking for answers to this type of question:
I have been working as a substitute nanny for a family in Illinois whose longtime care-giver has terminal melanoma.
The children — 5, 8, and 13 — are understandably upset. They are extremely angry, fairly aggressive, and definitely suffering in her [...]
Dear Judy,
My husband of 7 years died in our house, here in Phoenix. I’m from London, and I moved here when I married him. Everything in the house reminds me not so much of him, but of the day he died. The lamps, the stove, the ice maker and the furniture, and even the view.
I know [...]
Dear Judy,
My late husband was a partner in a medium-sized law firm, where believe it or not, almost everyone got along really well. Lots of social events, christenings, weddings etc: it was that kind of atmosphere.
When my husband died, everyone went to his funeral, and some of the other partners and the associates have been really [...]
Dear Judy,
I see from reading your advice column (I am new to thecheckoutline) that you get people writing in all the time about supposedly sympathetic friends and acquaintances who make dumb remarks about the dead. These people ask you what to say in reply.
I have a fairly special situation. My sister was shot dead in [...]
Dear Judy,
I know this question isn’t totally up your alley, but maybe you’ll answer it anyway. Last year I married a widower (his wife died of stomach cancer two years ago), and we get along very well. He has three grown children with whom I have cordial relations — actually more than cordial. We spend some [...]
Dear Judy,
My best friend died of breast cancer at 40. Her husband’s latest hobby — if you can call it that — is to surf the web for information on a million different horrible diseases and their supposed prevention or cures, and then share this information with everyone he knows. Naturally I’m on his list. In fact, [...]
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Posted on January 24th, 2009