Dear Judy,
My mother has pancreatic cancer. She also has Malignant Personality Disorder! She clearly favored my brother, her “Golden Child,” who could do no wrong. Although frankly he has a drinking problem.
Both my parents physically and emotionally abused me when I was a child, sabotaging my education and leaving me with a lot of lingering [...]
Dear Judy,
Here’s my problem, and I hope you can tell me what to do. I am supposed to go to a funeral next week: a dear friend was killed in a freak accident. But I had promised to go to my niece’s graduation which takes place, far away, on the same day.
My friend’s husband and [...]
Dear Judy,
My friend is dying of esophogeal cancer. I visit, call on the phone, bring food to her spouse.
I feel guilty because I feel like I should go see her more often (she lives an hour away). I am going tomorrow.
I truly don’t know what to say any more. She can barely talk. She is [...]
Dear Judy,
My father, who is a widower, is dying of cancer of the pancreas, and isn’t expected to last long. The problem is: me.
I’ve just been told I have to go to Hong Kong for at least 4 months. I don’t really want to go, but if I want to keep my job, I do. [...]
Dear Judy,
Couldn’t help noticing what you wrote as advice to the rich widow who wrote in yesterday complaining about her obnoxious stepchildren who wanted their father’s estate to go to them.
I have sort of the same issue, but not entirely. My late wife left most of her estate to me. She had a lot [...]
Dear Judy,
I just learned I have multiple myeloma, and I know it’s fatal. I am about to write a Last Will. I have no children, no living parent, but I do have a sister.
She isn’t in good shape financially (the market shenanigans took her by surprise) and I am. We don’t get along. She feels [...]
Dear Judy,
I read the email from the woman whose boyfriend was killed in a car accident when his sister was driving — it’s the only thing that gives me the guts to write you right now.
I’m living with guilt day and night and it doesn’t stop for a second. I killed a pedestrian 2 years ago. I [...]
Dear Judy,
My ex has lung cancer. She smoked 3 packs a day, so big surprise…She never remarried (I did). We have no kids.
Practically every day someone, her mother, her girlfriends who always drove me nuts anyway, her cousin, calls me up and “suggests” I do something for her. Like maybe visit. Or call her up. [...]
Dear Judy,
I live in Brussels most of the year, and I also travel a lot on business (mostly to Hong Kong and Singapore). For the last four months, my brother has been on my case. I’m about to come back to the US for four weeks, as I do each year, and he wants me to spend [...]
One of my readers wrote in last week: “Why don’t you ever write about guilt and death? To my mind, and I speak from experience, guilt is the most important and horrible component of what goes on when someone passes. What gives with you? The biggest side-effect of dying, and everything that encompasses (Wills, funerals, bedside chats etc) is [...]
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Posted on January 24th, 2009